I'm alive.

My posts have been few and far between...but the long awaited moment has arrived and internet has been restored at my apartment! [Two-months after it stopped working - thanks to Italian efficiency. :)]

Anyway, life in Florenence has entered the busy season of Spring. The sun is starting to shine, the days are getting longer, and our calendar is filling up quickly.

This week we will have a group of students from the states in to see what ministry is like in Italy and spend time on campus with us. Please pray for this time, for these American students, and for the Italians they will meet. Pray for our team as we are in a busy but exciting season.

More updates coming soon. :)

I love Love.

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite days of the year.

I love all of the pink and red and hearts and construction paper valentines and chalk heart candies and on and on... I just LOVE Valentine's Day. :)

We had a great V-day here in Florence. My teammate Marti hosted a little party at her house for our team as well as several of our Italian friends. We had LOTS of heart shaped cookies and cupcakes and tons of other food.

It was really fun to share the time with our Italian friends. The longer that I am here, the more encouraged I am by the real friendships that are developing between myself and Italians. It is so exciting to share life with them - inviting them to things we do and being invited to things that they do...Just exciting to really have friends here. :) That's why we are here...to build relationships with Italians and share Jesus within those relationships. Be praying for the relationships that I have as well as the initiation of new ones. Pray that the lives of these Italians would be changed by the power of the gospel.

Images.

It's been a little over a week since our team got back from our mid-year conference in Nerja, Spain. The conference was for Agape staff in Europe, Russia and the Middle East. It was a great time of being refreshed as well as challenged for minstry this next semester.

One of my favorite things in life is to sit outside in the sun and look at nature. I'm a bit of an introvert and a major internal processor so there is something so calming and refreshing about just sitting by myself and allowing my mind to stop spinning and just take in the beauty of Creation.

This conference definitely provided that for me. I spent a lot of time out on the sand and rocks sitting right by the sea soaking up the sun just enjoying being alive and getting to be at such an overwhelmingly beautiful place. I loved Spain! Part of its appeal may have been that I was coming from dark, cold, rainy, noisy Florence...but Spain was so serence and warm and just exactly what I needed.

Other than the beautiful scenery and time to relax, another favorite thing about the conference was the teaching. One of our national leaders here in Italy - Gary Runn - led us in a time of studying the Bible each day. His teaching is always great, but one thing he talked about that really stuck with me was the concept of being an image bearer.

God created us each in his image with the purpose of bearing his image. But so often we are so consumed with building our own image that we do not bear the image of God.

This really wasn't the main point to Gary's talk, but I haven't stopped thinking about it.

How much time and energy do I spend trying to build my own image? Worrying about others perceptions and opinions of me....Am I more concerned that when people see me they see a put-together polished image I have created of myself, or that they see an image of Christ?

This concept is related to what the Lord has been teaching me all year about my brokenness and the beauty of being a jar of clay. When I allow His grace and perfection to shine through my weakness and sin, rather than trying to cover those things up and display a perfect image of myself, He is glorified. He uses my weakness to show His strength. My flaws to show His perfection. And as I allow those cracks to show and He shines through them, the image people see when they see me is not an image of myself, but rather an image of Christ.

Reflections.

A new year has begun, and thus we begin a new semester of ministry in Florence.
A year ago, the Lord was working in my heart, chipping away at the walls I had put up...slowly preparing me for the time that He would ask me to come to Italy. This time last year I had no idea that a year later I would be sitting in my living room in Florence, Italy spending a day preparing my heart and mind to dive into ministry for another semester.

After I spent the summer of 2007 in Florence with Campus Crusade I knew I wanted to come back and do ministry here for a longer period of time - but I wouldn't let myself consider it as a real option. Raising financial support to come for the summer had been very difficult and had resulted in a lot of hurt between myself and God. Coming back to Italy for a year was simply too big and I couldn't do it. But while I was fighting to keep the desire to go back to Italy hidden away deep inside of me, God had a different plan. He was working on me - even when I had no idea.
I researched many different mission organizations, looking for options to serve the Lord that didn't require raising money. But nothing seemed right...I felt no real leading from the Lord in any direction. At the start of 2008 I started getting anxious about what I was "going to do with my life." I was graduating in a few months and needed to have some sort of a plan. I knew God wanted to me in ministry...but I just didn't know how or where (well, I did...but I wasn't allowing myself to think about that option so I needed a new plan...).
The Crusade staff team from my university encouraged me to intern with them for a year. It would be a great option of something to do while I was trying to figure out what was next as well as a great environment for growth and training in ministry. I decided to at least apply, in case I decided it was what I wanted to do.
By April, I still hadn't made a solid decision and the training weekend for all new interns with Crusade was just weeks away. I had to figure out what I was supposed to do. So I started praying - really praying and seeking the Lord about this decision.
Over the next few weeks God met me where I was - in the midst of all of my fear and brokenness and hurt. When raising support for my summer missions trip had not turned out the way I thought it would it had broken my trust with God, and I had held onto that hurt and carried it for months, not allowing myself to really trust the Lord for anything. But, as I said, He had been working in my heart when I wasn't even aware of it...and now He started to bring everything out.
In one weekend I realized the lies I had been believing - that God had let me down and that I couldn't trust Him - and I saw the truth of his sovereignty and power. He healed that place in my heart and connected it back to Him. Then He brought up the thing I had been trying to hide for so long: My desire to go back to Italy. I knew it was what I wanted, and I started to think about it again. But what I really needed to know is if it was what God wanted. The confirmation I received over the next few weeks was unbelievable. God was asking me to go to Italy - and even more importantly, asking me to trust Him enough to take a big step of faith and believe that He would raise all of the money I needed to get me there...in 3 months.
It was a wild summer - a lot of which I wrote about on this blog. A lot of the time it didn't look like I was going to make it - I never met any of the financial deadlines that I was supposed to even though I was working hard at raising support. But every time that I wanted to give up, God was there asking me to trust Him. Asking me how far I was willing to trust Him. And so I kept choosing faith. It wasn't easy, and it definitely wasn't in my own strength…But I knew I was supposed to be in Italy so I kept trying.
A week before our departure date I still did not have all of the money I needed in order to go. I got a call telling me that due to an urgent situation with the housing and the fact that I was still 25% away from my financial goal, I would not be able to go to Italy. I was heartbroken. I had poured everything into this for the last several months…I had trusted the Lord to make it happen…I couldn’t understand why God had brought me this far only to not let me go.
It was a Friday evening, and so I asked if there was any way I could have until the end of the weekend to keep trying. I was told that if I could be at 100% by 5:00 on Sunday I could still go – but otherwise Italy was out.
After a lot of crying and praying and a pretty sleepless night I knew that the Lord was asking me the same thing He had been asking me all summer “How far will you trust me?” I needed to trust Him until the end.
Even though it seemed absolutely impossible for that much money to come in in less than 2 days, I had to keep trying. So with a lot of help and support from my family we started making calls. We called all of our friends who we knew would pray with us and ask God for this miracle. Then we started calling people who had been interested in supporting me but had never made decisions.
After a few hours thousands of dollars had come in and it kept coming…all day, into the night, and through the next day. I was completely astounded and amazed. God was doing a miracle in my life, right in front of me! People who I had never met and never asked were giving money. People who had already given were giving more. I was getting e-mails, text messages, and phone calls from friends telling me they were praying, telling their friends, and even pledging to support me.
At 5:00 on Sunday I was not at 100%, but I was amazingly close. My STINT coordinator called to see what had happened over the weekend. She couldn’t believe what the Lord had done. I stood on my front porch jumping up and down with tears streaming down my face as she told me I was going to Italy!! I was so excited! But even more, I was unbelievably amazed at the faithfulness of the Lord. He had asked me to trust Him…and He had showed himself faithful all the way to the end.
It was a hectic week preparing to leave the country for a year, but as I stepped onto the plane I knew I was exactly where the Lord wanted me and I knew if He was big enough to get me on that plane, He was big enough to change the hearts of Italians with the gospel.

So here I am in Italy just a few months later, and even though my time here has not always been easy, it has been so sweet to know 100% that I am where the Lord wants me and that even if it doesn’t always seem obvious to me He has a plan for me this year. He is faithful; He is able.

A Season of Thankfulness,,,

It's been a while since I have posted an update on life here in Florence.

We have been so busy with the end of the semester!

Although it has been busy and a bit exhausting, things here have been very exciting!

We celebrated Thanksgiving for an entire week in Florence this year. Our team Thanksgiving dinner was put off until December 4 (or November 34 as we like to call it...), and so we just had a simple laid back pasta dinner on November 27 (Thanksgiving Day to all of you). Then, Saturday November 29, we had a HUGE Thanksgiving for all of our Italian friends.

It was such a great time! We had around 100 people crammed into Drew's apartment. Two massive turkeys, 10 pies, and all of the other Thanksgiving food your heart could desire!

We shared the story of Thanksgiving with the group as well as did quite a bit of explaining about what exactly they were about to eat - They liked the mac & cheese - it was the only pasta option available. :)

Although it was a long day, with a lot of preparation preceeding it, it was so worth it! One of the best things was seeing all of our different friend groups coming together at this one event. We had some of our teachers from our language school, friends from a local coffee bar, students we met on campus, students who come to our English club, friends from our church, and on and on...friends from many different places! By the end of the day some of our friends had even exchanged numbers and e-mails with each other.

Drew - our team leader, and host of the event - has a big orange door in his living room. This door was turned into a place for everyone to write what they were thankful for. Some people wrote lighter things - such as "ABBIGALE'S MASHED POTATOES" :)...but there were also many other more serious entries on the orange door. Several Italians wrote (or told us later because they were too shy to write on the door...) that they were thankful for their American friends (us). I don't say this to pump us up in any way, but rather to highlight what God is doing in the hearts of Italians. For some strange reason, all of these Italians are drawn to us "weird Americans". They want to be friends with us. They want to talk to us about the deeper issues of life. God is grabbing ahold of hearts in this city and in this nation. Although it may seem like a small ripple right now...I believe there will be waves. The wheels are turning in their heads...and more importantly - their hearts. There are several students who are asking big questions right now and who are really searching for answers. In this holiday season I find myself so thankful for what the Lord is doing here and thankful that He has brought me here to be a part of it...but also, desperately wanting to see more.

Pray with us for these students who are searching.

Pray for the ones who are searching but just don't know it yet.

Pray for us as we engage with them regularly.

Pray for us as a team - we are the light of Christ to them. We are the Body that they see.

But also, Thank God for what He is doing! He has a heart for Italy and He wants to see these people turn to Him.

Hopeless.

There is a lot going on in Florence right now.
One of the major things happening in Italy is the manifesto.
A law was passed…is being passed…? [I’m not quite clear on the details…I hear a different story from every student it seems] Anyway, this law is for the privatization of all schools in Italy. This deeply affects the students – for many reasons. Students will now have to pay substantially more to attend university than they are currently paying, making it impossible for many students to finish and/or begin university at all. Also, according to many of the students, the public education they are currently getting is far better than a private education [in Italy] would be.
This is a very basic explanation of the law - the consequences are vast and international students of all ages, as well as Italian elementary, junior high, and high school students are affected by this law.
Because of the law the students are protesting, occupying, and striking. All over the city (and country…) school buildings have been occupied by students and banners have been hung in protest. The anarchy flag is flying at many locations and students walk around with megaphones crying out against their government.
I am both intrigued and saddened by what is happening in this city.
Intrigued yet again by the passion of the Italian people to protest so firmly for such a duration of time.
Saddened by what this means for the students.
Saddened, because it seems that this is yet another thing that has left them feeling completely hopeless.
My prayer is that in the midst of this crisis, in the midst of a corrupt government, that Italians would find hope. That God would use this thing that seems so bad as a means to point students toward Him.
I am heartbroken for these people when I think about how little hope they have in their world.
There is no American Dream.
Here, the government is corrupt and unable to be depended on for security.
The economy is unstable and finding a good job [even after 5-10 years of university] is highly unlikely – and highly political.
Relationships are unsteady – infidelity is rampant.
There is very little to hope here. Very little to depend on.
I am praying that these circumstances would not continue to harden their hearts, but rather that they would turn them toward a Beautiful Savior who offers an unconditional, everlasting hope.

Photo Credit: Henry Dawson

Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours.

I live in a country/city where very few people know the Lord.

Almost daily I have conversations with students who don't seem to want to know Jesus or anything about Him.

I find myself constantly fighting apathy..Fighting callusedness.

My initial response is to say "These people's hearts are hard. They don't want to know. They'll never know. What's the use?"

But is that what God says about them?

I don't think so.

I think that God's heart breaks for every Italian that is lost and hopeless...and searching - even if they don't realize it.

His heart breaks for every student that is so swept up in their studies, their relationships, the corruption of their government, the instability of their economy, that they don't even think about Him - or about their need for Him.

God LOVES them.

He wants their hearts.

He wants their lives.

He wants them to know His overwhelming love and peace.

God, break my heart for what breaks Yours!

Please pray for me (and my teammates) as we bring the gospel to Italians. Pray that our hearts would not become hard but rather that they would daily be broken. Pray that the Holy Spirit would be going before us as we go on campus and as we have students in our homes. Only God can lift the veil that seems to cover their hearts so heavily.

He is definitely working here, but sometimes it's hard to see that. Believe with us that Italians would cross over from death to life this year.